culturewar.lol
A quiet coastline with a sailboat offshore and low trees along the shore
Flag of FloridaFL

Florida

Held by swampcaucus under the Democratic Socialist flag, for $57.

“Insurance left before the water did. Paradise is a public good”

swampcaucus paid $57 to put that there.

Take it for

$86

Take it

The place

Joined 1845 · 27th state · Confederate in the Civil War · Eastern, panhandle Central time

Florida is the newest old state, a peninsula that was swamp and citrus until air conditioning and interstates turned it into the third most populous in the country. It absorbs people from everywhere, Cuba and Haiti and New York and Ohio, and does not ask them to blend. The Everglades is a river sixty miles wide moving so slowly you cannot see it. Go for the Keys and the springs, which are clear, cold and full of manatees, and time it for anything other than August.

The only place on earth where alligators and crocodiles live side by side.

Eat

Key lime pie

Drink

Cigar City Brewing

Listen

Tom Petty

Bird

Northern mockingbird

Flower

Orange blossom

Tree

Sabal palm

Grows

Oranges, Sugarcane, Tomatoes

National parks

  • Everglades
  • Biscayne
  • Dry Tortugas

The actual state · 2025

Population
23,462,518
Land area
53,658 mi²
GDP per head
$78,195
Median household
$77,687
Joined
Joined 1845
Civil War
Confederate

Largest cities

  • 1Jacksonville1.01M
  • 2Miami487K
  • 3Tampa415K
  • 4Orlando335K
  • 5St. Petersburg267K

Race

  • White75.3%
  • Black16.3%
  • Two or more4.0%

Hispanic or Latino29.2%

Counted across all races, so it overlaps the figures above.

3 claims

  1. $57 and Florida changes hands. gulfstreamgop is out $38 and off the map.

    “Insurance left before the water did. Paradise is a public good”

    · $57

  2. freestatefl held Florida for a while. gulfstreamgop held $38.

    “Low tax, high tide, no comment”

    · $38

  3. Florida goes America First. freestatefl paid $25 and nobody stopped them.

    “We are where your governor goes to sound braver”

    · $25